Kimi . pls save me ):
im drowning in my own thoughts & attitudes .
my studies already like shyt ..
today the geog teacher call me in after sch ,
and have a lecture -___-
she say everyone shld have their own goals so that they have motivation to move on.
obviously , i dont .
she even tell me her own life story as example ..
everyone is trying to help me , and im nt even trying to help myself .
everyone didnt give up on me .
im really touch by this actually , i almost cried in front of the teacher.
in the end , she tell me to go home and talk abt it ,
she will try to help me figure out my goals ..
so....
when i go home and lie on my bed , i started crying .
i hate this 'me' , i hate what im doing .
and yet nobody had give up on me , mayb if they did ,
i would have feel btr .
i had failed everyone , all their hopes and expectations.
im really sorry , cos im such a disappointment . ):
Besides studies. im a dissapointment too .
ppl says im hongster in maple ._.
i looked & acted like i didnt care , wif a 'F3' face .
the turth is , i do .
i really do .
i believe , nobody wans to be a hongster ,
and none of them are one when they are born rite ?
i hated myself for this ,
yea , im just a 15 year old girl who wan to know what 'love' truly is .
you might think im a despo kia ;
but nw thinking back , if time could rewind ,
i would choose to be single instd, until im dead .
because without knowing wad loniness is , thr wont be lonliness .
The feeling of being with the one you love , is really amazing .
for the one i love , im willing to sacrifice everything.
i truely swear from deep of my heart ,
knowing that will get hurt in the end , i will still choose to do this.
im stupid uh ?
ppl always tell me that deep down, a person's char wont change.
but for me , i believe , for love , everyone can .
im sry that i cant be the perfect girl,
neither do i have the confident to be one,
god, pls gimme the confidence ! ):
"letting go of something that dont belong to you,
then you'll know that you have grow."
