It's All About You

2009-08-15T00:52:00.002+08:00

HELLO ALLS.
ULTRA REMINDERS!

Please relink me @ http://xoxodonut.jugem.jp
and
stop viewing this blog already not like im going to write anything! ;O
only going to link close friends who bothers viewing my blog, so those people in my blog links please just tell me you are still reading my blog so i could re-link you (:

See you then! Bye ;D
and that blog had no tagboard or whatever.
Please tag me at my comments at every corner of the written post ;D

2009-08-13T00:27:00.002+08:00

why.. even after break you are still causing me so much pain.

sorry everyone for what i've done.
now thinking back, i really did many childish stuffs.
saying other people is childish instead of myself.. do i really feel better?
i duno.

just now me and him sort of argued. he kind of woke me up from my dreamland.
i suddenly feel so disgusted with myself.
he say "we are teenagers not primary kids."
yea, thats true cause i really is behaving like primary sch kids.
if only.. im still a primary sch kids.
i can say stuff like "i dunwan to fwen you." cause even if you really said it without using your brain, no one is going to blame you.

no face to play maple now ._. ..
especially when everyone corners you and you duno what to do, so i went off.
my 1st reaction after was, hold my head and cried.
then joey aiai suddenly called me.. obviously at the wrong time.
use half of my brain cells thinking shld ans or not..
anw i did. and manage to cover up my shaking voice cos she didnt seems to find out ;D
my skills are getting better. hoho.

felt like deleting my whole buddy list..
active is active lah.. but whats the point.
stared at my whole bl list just now, thinking who to turn to.
TOTALLY NO ONE. empty empty de feeling evaloped me..
i dun believe in friendship and true love doesnt mean i didnt know it exist.
im just saying it wont fall on me cos im always xia suey!

those prank call people called me like 9 times when i was kooning my nap?
lucky i know how to use the function call "SILENT MODE".
although i know their words are just craps as it is so clear that they are thinking of craps to crap out.
but somehow.. im realise that im still affected by it ._.
especially when i was emoing, their words all float into my brain like water!

HEADACHE LAH. stop thinking you stupid girl!
must stay strong ;D at least for now.
觉得自己真的好失败哦！
tagboard deleted - ;D
if no one is going to tag after they read/ no one is reading at all?!?! ,
i will rather lie to myself that they read and didnt tag cos there's no tagboard! haha (:

2009-08-12T14:57:00.002+08:00

post deleted (: it just destroy the beautification of my blog.
sorry for the unglam-ness (:

my msn officially crashed.
then, a mapler ask me change the time on my com then it works again ;D
i think everyone's got prob cos my contacts had dangerously less online.

went to lot1 with ruth ytd! study and.. play arcade!
i totally forgot that i left $4 la! so.. she pay for me norhs ;D
recently, met so many ex-friends! haha!
that day at club met dao gary, then ytd meet dao jialong. so happy :x

the tests today was soooo easy! D:
easier then i expect it to be. hahaha! feeel so happy!
i cant wait for nxt weekend! 4 days holiday again~
i felt like i just wasted 3 mths of my life away ever since after june hols,
totally dream through with many pontens, max-ed the quota for absents. SIAN.
i will go for mc's then :X

and my allowance is coming soon!
i can pre-seen that im going to spend it away in no time.
BUT, still im getting some money! ;D

yesterday night was total mind crash for me.
argued with shawn as he made me dam angry for duno what.
i totally went crazy lah! i held my head and shake it hard so that i could chill ._.
but it didnt! now thinking back, i think i did a very job at handling things ytd..
if not cheyenne wont go..
i really wanted to treasure her as a maple friend.
but.. i guess friends really comes and go too -.-
WHYTF do i even bother. maple.. just showed me how ppl really are.
good and bad, yes and no! complicated lah!

but then i felt bad when he lost cheyenne as a friend just because of my things as well ._.
i admit i didnt mind my own business ytd. suan le!
ytd was really really stress, even in the morning when i slightly think of it make me headache!
so i did myself a flavour by slping the whole day in sch ^^
sort of settle-ed with shawn after school. *feel glad*.
and for some reasons, i tink derrick just gave my number to some fkers ._.
and i had to spend half an hr of my life listening them making fun of me,
cos i dunno what to say ._. i mean i dunwan get into trouble or wad.
so just orhorh lor D:

going to koon! byes :D

p.s. im neither a les nor a smoker, im just taking photo! lols!

2009-08-11T17:14:00.004+08:00

my 1st reaction when i saw his blog was,
"W-T-F?!"
and after reading it, I FEEL SO GLAD that i did the ever first right choice in my life.
which is ditching him, totally no more guiltiness. (:

you say i fall in love with a guy not knowing him for more then 2 weeks,
isnt you the same too? lols?
i know you are still reading my blog, and im not going to CONSIDER your feelings anymore,
so i will just make it an end here.

like seriously, you ask urself, did you ever treasure me at all for the pass 1 yr?
i asked you to change so many times, I GAVE YOU 1 YEAR OF CHANCESSSS,
did you cherish a single one of them?
why must you wait until i break with you alr then you determine that you'll change?
is it because if i nvr decide to make that decision,
then you wont change forever?
I didnt ask for more did i? sending gf home is really the basic of what a bf shld do,
you? dun say everytime we go out. we std 1 yr you send me home how many times siol?

the new "spare tyre" that you called, did give me more determination to break with you,
blame it on yourself that YOU didnt have the ability to make me stay.
last time when we stead i ask you write blog you die die also dun write,
now break already? "i will continue to blog, nobody is going to stop me" .
lols?! dun make me laugh.
somemore write until so chim, you wan lie to who sia?
telling me that you didnt know how to write blog.

you know, you have absolutely NOTHING except your so call "tx",
yea i admit you ARE tx, but so? tx dun own everything okay.
seriously, reflect what you did, then go look at yourself at the mirror, nxt is go to ur wallet and see got how much left.
i really really CANNOT think of a single thing of WHY the fking hell i shld continue with you.
and my so call "spare tyre" is much better quality then you.
i will rather have a happy and contented relationship, then a long and painful one.
he might not be as tx as you, but he know how to make me happy.
that is what i learn in this pathetic 2 weeks.

and and your that "begging ppl to lend you money",
i just asked you to lend, i didnt beg you to lend.
MIND YOUR WORDS. anw, that day at orchard, the moment you take back my money, i feel SO disgusted.
its like, if you really plan to break with me then you take back i okok,
but the fact is that time you STILL wan me and you STILL take back,
then i tink you sux.
AND STOP SAYING THOSE STUPID "ADVICES",
not like your results FLY. omg.

LAST THING IM GOING TO SAY.
FYI, MY PARENTS ARE NOT "STILL" TGT.
they dun even talk to eachother lah!
they just haven divoice cause of responsibility of having ME THIS EXTRA KIA.
i think they showed me quite an example of how there are NO FOREVER LOVE.
and i make myself opened my eyes to the REALITY by trying it out myself.
talk about this kind of things to YOU this kind of noobie is totally waste my time.

if you are going to write all those pathetic things on your blog EVERYDAY,
and want to make ppl pity you and consol you just because you SEEMS pathetic.
then go ahead.
i will gift you one word. C-H-I-L-D-I-S-H!
i might be pathetic, but so are you.

2009-08-10T21:51:00.002+08:00

okay. im as good as drunk when i take this. hahahaa!
yesterday night was total FUN. (;
at first was boring, meet joey aiai and then wait outside the club for duno what shyt.
yea, duno what.
and as usual, waited for ruth for 2 HOURS. she seriously PRO.
lucky i got my joey aiai ^^.

suppose to go clubbing, we got our tickets @ $18.
but, in the end joey aiai dun feel like getting in and thinking of the density of ppl inside, we sold our tickets off @ $19. LOL.
wanted to go boat quey. but scare underage so went to champs or wadever that place called.
and this is where FUN comes :x

we only order 2 pins of tiger beer between 3 people.
somehow, the beer is nicer then usual idk why, it dun have the bitter taste,
so i drank more then usual.
and me and joey aiai got drunk! i didnt even know im drunk, i tot i was just too tired to lift up my head ._.
joey aiai was worst then me. she like one crazy woman sitting on the floor open her leg somemore! hahahaha! super funny.
so we send her home and went cini on the way.
ruth keep tells me to walk properly cause she say everybody was looking at me..
but to me i walked rather straight . haha!
the feeling of being drunk.. so gooooooood!
like things that dun dare to do and too paiseh to do all come out! ><
we watched a movie, but end up slping throughout.

in the morning went lan, after machim free cab home with ruth and a guy.
*thats why its free. LOL
go home and collaspe on bed. nvr take out make up or contact lens just slp! hahaa too tired!

anw, i've decided to pass my fate to whereever it brings me ;D
im just going to folo whr time leads me to! haha (:
but still, im so afraid to love.
my friends all say i gone case x.x how?!?!?!

p.s. thanks that 某某人 for his care & concern. thank you so much..
you gave me the feeling of what i once lack (:

2009-08-09T12:25:00.003+08:00

my blog is dead. congratulations (:
can you believe it? next week is common test and im still slacking away..
anw, happy birthday to singapore and gekluo les partner (:

so.. this afternoon i went meet her, to pass her birthday present and stuff,
then pei her to her house to have "party" .
okay, im surprise at how people have their birthday.
fine, not surprise, rather envy.
cos i dont ever had a birthday like that, nor will i have one.
she had so so many friends coming to her house for party and giving her birthday wishes,
family eating lunch tgt.. JEALOUS NAH ><
thinking back, my birthday is just..... another day ._.
*neglected as always* so i emo and played maplestory at her house.
sit like 2 hrs+ and headed home.

before going to club later, went back to my nest for a rest.
actually dun feel like going.. but im going anyway. (:
the whole morning and afternoon was just having this fainting feelings,
les spent a portion of her time asking if im okay, nt like i would tell her im not okay.
LOL.

and, this is another emo post.
which post of mine had no emo contents? (x
so.. les told me many things while im with her,
especially when she tell me he's a flirt and ask me dun get moved when ppl are just sightly btr to you then usual ._.
this totally hit my head with a "X". make me sian dao..
then she added, "but he had gf then wont flirt".
so, i feel fine again. LOL. feel so lame.

zen started his cycle again like last year. call me to chat.
finefine, i shall just spend my time to listen to his crap.
nt all was crap, some did get into my head though.
he ask me to face the reality and wake up, so i did wake up abit. just abit :x

cant help but smile at les when she was chatting with me,
she experienced so much more, got hurt so much more then me,
got played by guys so many times.
and then she can still be strong and stand up.
then why cant i? ._.
is it because she had the support from others? or is it because im not strong enuff?

feel so confuzed, dun even know we are what kind of relationships now.
he didnt ask, not like i want him to cuz i will just reply a "duno" .
lols :x its my pattern, but also the truth.
i duno if i wan to accept anyone again,
duno if i can trust or love again.

Just now at train, scrolled through my 3k msges, and then press the "delete" button.
i could delete our memories, just like that. (:
没有人是一座孤岛，可是为什么我总是让错的人进入？

2009-08-06T21:43:00.002+08:00

long time nvr update.. hmmmmm.
when not emo had nth to blog about! lols :x

school was boring... totally no mood to go sch somehow,
its like nxt week is common test week already and i totally had no idea one term had passed,
i feel like time stopped at june holiday. :/
anw, im kind of addicted to lan.. which is a bad thing. lols!
me and sandy go lan like almost everyday ._.
mah, who cares? :D

today after sch met sihao, then we went eat lunch at kfc (:
then after he went to class then me go lan with sandy.
and she zao after a short while so left me stone there.. D: emo!
guess wad.. i gain back 1 kg ): emo..
stupid sihao ): .. must be his fault!

feel so bad, im sorry.
i didnt meant to snatch your love, i really didnt know..
*GUITY*

2009-08-03T22:42:00.002+08:00

Single life. hmmmmmmmm.
he keep begging me to give him a chance..
i really duno what to do, i dun wan to hurt him, but i dunwan to continue.
to say the truth, i really really dun believe in forever.
forever, its just a word that people use to lighten up the mood..
if i dun forgive him, i will dui bu qi him.
but if i forgive him, i will dui bu qi myself.
why is everything had to choose 1 only?!

today during geog, talking about some random stuff with my frens..
but, it reminds me of family.
how many yrs do i not have a family day?
recalling the past.. when i still have such thing call family.
sigh, why must things all turn out this way?

AND WHY THE FK AM I ALWAYS WRITING EMO POST?! lols :x

2009-08-01T15:03:00.002+08:00

i feel so emo this few days.
i wan ppl's sayang and comfort, but i know i cant ask for it anymore.
it feel so bad, when my hand holding my hp, typing words of lies.
saying that im okay to the whole world,
my finger shaking, tears rolling down my cheek while i type "(:" and "haha"
but, i must stay strong! stop giving other ppl problems you stupid girl.

sounds so emo.
everyone thinks im so busy, going out and all.
the truth is.. feel so lonely. sigh.
everyone is just making use of me, even in maple.
ppl just be fren with me cos they wan me spam them.
i just.. want to keep myself busy. so that i wont think abt all these.
family.. friends.. what do i have? ): sigh.sigh.

2009-07-27T16:07:00.002+08:00

finally im blogging. hahahaha (:
im sry because i really dun feel like sharing anything abt my life.
i mean its nth nice anyway.

i got 2 new babys, dear bought for me at 1 yr anni.
maplestory is getting boring, cause im broke.
btw, I LOST 2 KG. can you believe it? im like 48kg now.
2 more kg to my dream weight <333
i cant wait!

anw, today. the stupid stawberry shortcake bo tai bo ji pick on me.
._.
i also dunno what i do sia!
its like almost half of the class was slping in chapel. then she only ask me wake up?!
i am so tired lah! that kind of tired like stand up also can fall aslp that kind!
hahaahaha.
anw, she stare at me, but i still manage to fall aslp 3 times.
so i tink, she got fare up. and tell me that i changed, and dun sit with ruth nxt time.
i was thinking, so shld i sit with weili and talk like crazy? :/
and i changed just becos i slp during CHAPEL?!
it doesnt even make sense.

then math, she ask me sit infront when i guaiguai hand in homework to her ._.
shldnt ruth be the one sitting in front?!
OMG. totally sux day.
and congrats i got a new eye bags that is so fking obvoius.

whatever! hahahaha (:

2009-07-20T15:51:00.002+08:00

kbox-ed with joey aiai.

totally bad mood today. spoil my day.
fking teacher with her fking belief.
me and ruth was planning to complain right infront of her face but,
couldnt find her in the stuff room for the whole day so forget it.
i already planned out a whole speech in my head. Lols! :x

oh, it happened like that. because she wanted to change our seats by drawing lots.
so, everyone was fine with it. and i wishing to sit with my friends, pray and begged god to gimme a good seat instead of sitting with some weirdos.
AND I GOT ONE.
so, everyone was smiling happily sitting at the lotted seat.
THEN, she say. this whole row is not good for eachother. so she switch me and chengim out of the row.
I WAS SUPER ANGRY LAHHH.
i mean, i loveeee my changed seat, cos its like the back so can eat and msg in class.
BUT, i super angry with my teacher.

shldnt believe anyone so much after all.
why do i, always always forget my beliefs? sigh.
he hurt me so many times today. but i kept it to myself.
who am i to even get angry at him? i dont even have the rights to do so.
ASHLEY LAU, you can do it. just stop believing random people & their so call promise.
i wont carry any hopes! (:

Every game has an end call "GAME OVER",
so do love?

2009-07-18T09:37:00.005+08:00

i dunno why i wake up so early.. i tried to force myself back to slp.
but it failed. wake up sitting on the bed. heart filled with emptiness..
i suddenly miss him so much.. looking at all the memories we had..
it hurts so much, i dunno why i say those bad things to him ytd..
i stare at pig and look at him. then my tears start to roll down..
pig rest his head on my finger.. like he knew what i feel.
this is the first time he hadnt run away from me when i touch him. haha.

i msged him again in the morning.. i dunno if it works. im pretty sure it wont..
but i decided to try once, so i could be convince to give up too.
give up.. what a simple word yet so meaningful.
meaningful in the sense, so hard to complete.
remembering all the promises we had.. thinking which is true and which is lies..
love, is it a game too?
i promise this will be the last person i love. and i will do it.
I WONT GET A BFFF ANYMORE. or not so soon. till im more mature to think..

I just screw my life up. yes.. making myself upset, making everyone upset.
i sucks, no wonder i had no friends (:
i think i deceive it. lols. mummy.. when are you going to be back..
no one is there for me anymore, i nid to be strong.
sigh, i guess this is a part of growing up..

2009-07-17T16:00:00.005+08:00

sch was fine. shldnt had went today.
weili and ruth both didnt go school. they left me alone ):
feel so sad )': , so lonely today..

but pe was fun (: softball! didnt know i would actually enjoy softball.
hahaha, i feel so stupid inside!
ppl hit the ball, i first 2 times strike, then 3rd time actually strike :x
but the teacher wan me play, so she didnt count it.
then when i was going to hit, i heard her say "just hit lightly"
so i hit .. lightly.. LOL
ppl play softball the ball fly right? my ball is like drop down the ground.
then i stare at it very long, thinking, run or not? LOL
until the teacher say run! then i run!
hahaha until the 2nd base.

so nxt was chen gim's turn. SHE HIT UNTIL SO FUNNY LAH.
then i stare at her, running.. (while i was standing at the 2nd base)
then some ppl shout at me RUNNNNNNNNNNN.
then i wake up from daydream and RUNNN. LOL.
it was totally diseaster. but strange that i find it fun (:

found out how anti-social im again..
since weili and ruth wasnt here. following other ppl's trail..
IT SUXXX. im like an unwanted stray cat.
I DONT WANT GO SCHOOOOL T.T
after yixuan and daphy kind of "bully" me cos of my chinese name ._.
i was abt emo and irritated.. but manage to stuff it in my heart.
sigh, my chinese name didnt have this prob when i was in HK .. ):
SAD.

so.. after school. wanted to go home straight. but thought abt what to do at home..
they was already on the bus, then i ran on the bus just when the door closed!
hahaha! then i say im going to follow you!
wowww. but didnt bring money today..
so just stare at them eating macdonald, stealing fries :x
went home.. yay ltr going out with ruth :D
somehow.. feel like going clubbing suddenly. just want to get crazy and throw everything behind my brian.

he suddenly ask me abt break ytd.
shock and whatever feelings, mixed.
shld i go back to him?
wrote a really long post, but decided not to post it. (:
thankyou, to a friend of mine. otherwise i would still be hiding on the bed crying.
haha (: thanks so much!
but saying that you would be beside me forever.. its just words to comfort me right?
somehow.. i had stop believing in forever.
but didnt want to disappoint you. so i said i did. sorry.. ):

是我想太多了吧，永远对你来说到底是什么？
一个小时，还是一天？你冷淡的话令我明白了。

2009-07-16T17:45:00.002+08:00

blog.. blog.. BLOGGING.
wooots. siao liao. (:

IM DAMNNN DULAN TODAY.
cause, duno which fking teacher gimme are FAIR conduct. omg.
walou so angry lahs, i got a FAIR, and some people who is always slping in class or scold teacher F word got GOOD or VERY GOOD?!?! NOT FAIRRRR.
i tell you ah, if she really gimme a fair in my report book, im going to bring my mother go complain.
yes! power of the parents {{:

and weili, ruth and chen gim got like bad.
the worst.
then we go look at the dairy. it says, only students with truency, drugs, smoking or what got a bad.
then chen gim was so angry and take out her glue and say I SNIFF GLUE LEH. lols! ;x
...

and im the only one who hand in chinese homework today! woots.
first time siol! everyone so shock lah! they are like, ashley you did?! OMG.
LOL. :X im a guaikia okay... <333
went woodlands with ruth to collect contact lens after school.
walou eh. I HATE GO OUT MAN.
spend like $30 bucks. cos ate swensens. OMG SO FULLLL.
okay lahs. it was a great meal since i came back. (:
then headed home to rot.
rot rot rot. sat going out! ((: omg my money!

friend, im always here for you <33

2009-07-14T20:22:00.002+08:00

bored. only did one question of math.
school works trying my best catching up.
today o level oral exam. i felt i did fine. but sigh.. you'll nvr know.
maybe they think im talking crap. lols.

sorry for not updating.
the process of growing up, can i skip it?
i want to be a baby forever. ignorant about problems, stress.
or is it just me? i can even get stress on a game.
piece of shyt. -'-

my god. oh, i bought doraemon in to oral with me. hehe.
so he could gimme so magic. hahahha. (:
well, it kind of works, i didnt feel so anxious.
LIFE LIFE LIFE.
FUCK IT. lols :x
oh recently i keep thinking maybe we are like in another world,
then come to this game call LIFE.
so we had to play this until we die. then all our memories will be erased when we play this game.
LOL. great imagination issit it? :x hhees.

my temper really sucks. why why?!
how to overcome it. i dunwan to upset other people because of me anymore.
my problems.. i will solve it myself.

就算你有一道墙，我的爱会攀上窗台盛放。

2009-07-09T15:28:00.002+08:00

hey! just came back from school.
slept my way through english and chinese today. :D
well, at least i went sch!
tmr last day! must go school!!! *determine*
today ms kek not in school. IT IS HEAVEN MAN.
so slack. went library and tried to load my taiwan dramas.
but it is so fking slow so i gave up. yeshhhhh.

didnt bring my phone to school today.
why do i always forget phone nowadays? hahaha.
cos no one msg me! (((:
in the end day, which is ytd, still cannot control my anger and spill it out to a friend.
whats the hell with me! >=(
should i watch korean dramas or godfather in pink?!
cannot decide! godfather in pink seems boring :/ but i love the char!
omg.

going library with dear ltr (: am going to do some homeworks.
I AM GOING TOOOO. okay. :D

2009-07-08T19:47:00.003+08:00

went newater today. so guai rite, nvr porn leh. :D
after went to tampinese mall. finally i got stocks of food. (:
spend like $20 dollars on food. lols.
i cant believe i spend 500 bucks in 3 weeks.
sigh, i tink i'll just ask daddy for money when he called nxt time.

bored like hell.
everybody just sux man. irritating, keep dao me.
dun reply then dun reply lor. see if i care.
fine.. i care.
my friend say nvr see me so long still so emo.
WHO MAKE ME EMO DE AHH. hai bu shi all this fker ppl.
sigh, im sad sad sad and sad.
who will ever understand?
controling all these anger, keeping quiet for their likings, keeping a smile on my face.
how long must I continue like that.
everything seems so insignificance at this moment. life.. how i wish. (:

DETERMINE TO GO SCH THIS WEEK :D yay!

2009-07-07T15:38:00.002+08:00

just came back from counseling.
great time i could say, wasted 1 hr crapping out words of lies.
but after few weeks of counseling, i felt that she dig out something out of me.
regret thinking that she is just a useless person.
fine, i was just telling the truth abit abit :x

if doraemon represents hope, thats what im longing for? (:
this game of life, i dun wish to continue playing.
so far, i thought i had always wanted to end this life.
but after a week of suspecting that i had h1n1 and refuses to go to the doctor or hospital,
i realise i didnt want to die yet. :/

sigh, how i wish i could just sleep and nvr wake up.
forgetting all about responsibility, feelings, and all these craps.
Ytd lao di scold me, he ask me wtf im doing, asking me to wake up.
im dreaming? if i am, then why even in a dream im experiencing all these.
why cant my dream be better? since its just a dream.

but, i dun wan to wake up. running from reality, my fav.
I promise pudding we will forget him together.
he say he will help me. Yes, Im sure i can do it. (:
attachments is not what i nid, i just nid myself.
thanks friend.

把你忘得一干二净，是我唯一能做的东西。

2009-07-06T17:33:00.002+08:00

thankyou readers for supporting my post (:
well, didnt really have many. kor and myself :x

lied to marmie that i went out with friends today. actually im rotting at home.
didnt want her to know im like soooo sian and lonely at home. ><
can you believe i spend 3 days at home?!
so unlike me. lols.
tried to sleep cos of bored-ness. didnt succeed through.
so blog awhile ba (:

i wonder how long am i going to last like that.
sigh, didnt want to ask dear to go out. his N lvls is coming.
everyone is working hard for themselves, what the hell am i doing?
a friend of mine said im social, alot of friends, scare what?
lols what a joker, im social? the sky drop down alr.
it looks like everyone orbits around me, but is it the truth? :/

hmm.. i duno how to blog about. so weird.
so many things on my mind but cant write it out.
cant wait for jiro and xinyi's new taiwan drama to come out (:
omggg, it must be good.

自信地说了解我的你，真的了解我吗？

2009-07-06T03:11:00.003+08:00

sorry for my post being soooo short and unactive.
didnt really have the mood to tell stories about myself.
pon sch for 3 days last week. lol.
duno what i was doing also, when holiday i wish to go sch,
after holiday want to stay at home.
shen jing bing .___________.

wow i lost weight! wooooooots.
3kg in like a week? hahaha! what you expect from 1 meal a day.
didnt really diet, but rather force to.
suppose to go out with joey aiai tmr, but she sort of last min cancel.
oh well, i spend my long weekend rotting at home.
AGAIN. with my 4 favourite walls, and a computer :D

felt like we are not so close anymore.
i wonder if its my fault again..
feel so hurt out of a sentence today, even through it is just a joke.
it killed my confidence. lols.
pudding say im sensitive, everyone says that.
i hope it was just sensitive too. but why, everytime things turns out the way it is.
sigh ):

2009-06-26T13:32:00.002+08:00

okay. my blog come back with a new look, and a new start (:
enough of bitchiness, i mean im not saying myself :x
today is elearning day. and i had no idea how im going to complete it at all.
oh my, hope alot people forgot and just enjoy their hols.

the other day while im at orchard, suey things happen cos i lost $50.
its alot okay )):
sighhh. looking forward to mummy's return. im really bored at home alone ><

2009-06-20T21:19:00.002+08:00

hey. back from hk.
so weird. when im in hk i wish to go back to sg, now im in sg i wish to go back to hk :/
hmmmm.
went out everyday.
loneliness is so happening in my house.
man man, who want to save meeeeeee.
the house feel so quiet and scary. ahhhhhhhhh

lost.

2009-06-17T20:30:00.002+08:00

i wonder why he got angry at me just because i say he dun let me pee ._.
i want him to know i didnt want to leave him even if it is just to pee..
well, thats what i suppose to mean.. i guess he didnt get it.
as usual ._.

so strange. feel so so strange this two days.
completely lost the courage and determination to try and get up.
everyone has its limits i guess, and im at mine :?
will we last until July 23rd? the real anniversary.
i really look forward to it neee ):

2009-06-17T00:44:00.002+08:00

OMG DIDNT I LOCK MY BLOG?! HOW THE HELL DID HE SEE ><<<<<<
okay, im not going to post! for safety purpose.
or find some innocent soul to double check..

wotashi baka baka baka! ):
no wonder he dao me for 23 hrs and duno how many mins.
oh well.. okay i decided already!
i will start on brand new series of thoughts! HAHAHHA.
go back to the old me. the one who cant-be-bother. or rather force to not bother :/
ahhh whatever. im going to delete all my hopes. all of them!
im selfish? thats me (:

omg.. so ignorant.
but to change thats the only way.. ne?
im really tired though ))):
strange that today didnt have any thoughts about msging him until that 23 hrs ltr..
after seeing the tag, not so thick skin to msg anymore so..
maybe he block me or purposely not online or smth :O
sighhhh.
im not going to cry anymore! woman's most powerful weapon is that ba ):
if use too much not useful le.. im going to save it! ((:

step 1 to victory. gabate! i am sure i can do it ((:
even through there is no way to change the fact that im a natural complicated mind thicker,
but i could use all these complications ability to over all the not so simple thoughts and make myself stupid right?!

sounds abit complicated.. but i just have to think more then others i guess ):

2009-06-16T01:04:00.002+08:00

he run away again.
when i not talking he say im boring, when i tried to talk alot he say i kp robot ._.
what should i do ):
all simple minded ppl care is themselves.. right?
why not consider my feelings, my difficulties T_T
what is fun and interesting to him? i couldnt think of any from me.
love. the most terrible feeling ever.
it locks you in like a cage, no whr to run. it makes you have a taste of heaven, then suddenly throw you to hell.

really envy simple mind ppl, to go slp and tmr is a new day.
like da xiong, does it matter being stupid for him?
having the girl of his dreams, having true great frens like doraemon.
abit stupier.. does it matter? i wonder why ppl wan to be smart.
did i successfully lock my blog? i dunnnnnnnno man.
i dunwan him to see this.. the upset me. so pathetic.. ne?
but what could i do? besides these worthless tears..

nothing at all.

2009-06-14T00:33:00.002+08:00

i wonder if im doing the right thing..
but holding tight and dun let go wont go anywhr else..
although its not my style, but im willing to try (:
even through it hurts.. hope he will happy liddat since im boring..

sigh. i tried my best.
he ask me why i so angry about it.
i cant think of anything to reply.
why why? isnt it what i use to do? i expected it when he said brb.
but why? even i know the outcome, i hurts so much when it happens.
dont understand..
maybe i held hope in him thats why, i expected too much.
a tiny glam of hope. a change for myself, his love.
but it fails anyway, maybe he is doing the right thing..
pouring cold water on me, killing my hope.

happiness and hope isnt really my thing after all right? (:
wo zhen shi da ben dan..

2009-06-10T23:48:00.002+08:00

i.. selfish?
isn't all humankind selfish?
desires, jealousy, hatred, not able to accept.
wanting them to behave the way we want..
who is not being selfish? everyone wants to be happy, but nobody is happy.
such a joke isnt it?

the whole world is crying.. everyone had their own story.
everyone is trying so hard to fight for a future of their own,
to satisfy the people they love, to meet up to others expectation.
then, what am i doing?
im just a disappointment isnt it..?
in the middle of nowhere.. not bad and not good. nothing.

if i let him play.. i cant sit ard and watch, cos it hurts me.
but if i dun let him play, and if he really dun play. then he cant sit ard and watch, cos it hurts him.
if there is no satisfy-two-solution, then..
who is willing to give up first? me.. again mah?
why is life always so troublesome -.-..

2009-06-09T21:04:00.002+08:00

hahaha. so cool right? doraemon marriage pushie!
save until i marry that time use (:

went hospital again today. SO BORING LAH.
im like sick with a funny flu and slight fever.
omg, is it swine flu? i scare i cannot come back nah! )):
why am i always sick at the wrong time?!
come back then sick mah! stupid ._.

even with less energy then usual, i went shoppppppppping!
spend like 100 bucks. okok nah.
bought two bikini~
cos, buy 1 then saw the 2nd one, too nice to resist.
hahahaha. i cant believe the amt i spend.

i realise i had some hidden friends.
maybe before i was too concentrate on school frens thats why feel i had so less friends (:
i still have online frens! haha (:
thanks! although i still dun have much confidence..

2009-06-08T22:27:00.003+08:00

he scolded me bad.. he ask me to shut up.
although it hurts, but.. is it what i wish?
how come, i dun seem to understand myself?
he ask me what i want. i dunno what i want..

is he really not making me secure or.. its just me? ._.
he ask me go think. think what.. start from where.. can some angel help me figure out what is me?
whr is my happiness? who or what took away my happiness..
how to find it back?
last time.. am i liddat? why i cant seem to rmb..

45 kg.. so what 5 kg only wad ):
face also not say very nice... thats what i tell him lah.
is it what i really think? keep criticizing ppl will make me feel better?
maybe. cos i know 5 kg is alot and she look better then i do ._.
errr.. compare to her what am i?
at least people have inner beauty and natural confidence.
my fren said if a person think herself is pretty, then she will be pretty.
but the prob is I DUN THINK IM PRETTTTTTTTTYYYY.
._.

sigh, confidence confidence come to me pls ):

2009-06-08T19:44:00.003+08:00

okay, im back.
stupid person suddenly offline again. what is this man ._.
my msg 50 cents de leh, send already also dun reply. make me send again.
stupid stupid.
watched star trek just now. hey, dun get cheated by the cover.
IT IS SO GOOOOD.

i came back to go online and watch again :D

10 more days~
my blog.. emo? my blog is suppose to be emo wad.
i mean, look at my link webbie (:
http://teh-EMOzhuzhu.blogspot.com

haha weird (:

2009-06-07T00:02:00.002+08:00

new pics finally! when im in mtr :D
hahaha.
went china today. look at furniture. so boringggg.
at night meet daddy in china to eat seafood :D hahaha.
after went starbucks drink coffee and eat cheesecake.

i bought a whole bag of stuff. omg. not gona tell you what is it.
:D

2009-06-05T23:39:00.002+08:00

spend another 100+ today (:
im like finishing all the money that daddy gimme. oh greatttt.

he accompanied me like he said.
mood was fine today until.. like now after i check his thing.
why do i had to be such a busybody and bad gf ._.
i knew i shldnt! grrr. serve u right for feeling liddat now.
i didnt have much guy frens to talk to doesnt mean i had to be jealous when he is talking to a person to a opposite sex right????
i tried to compare the feeling when i talk to a guy.
not love just friendly feeling, but why cant seem to accept..
hate myself lah. complicated.

im starting to feel sorry for him.
i mean, am i too selfish to ask him pei me liddat?
its like im bored doesnt mean i had to pull him into this boring world with me right ):
we didnt really had much thing to talk about..
cos somehow just talking abt the same thing for duno how many hrs.
odd that i dun feel sian about it.
the power of loveee (:
im not sure if he feels the same.. i mean he is boy after all ):
maybe im just love craze ~.~

can i cheer up please? ):

2009-06-05T00:48:00.004+08:00

staring at the phone waiting..
for a msg that will nvr come.
even know it wont come.. still cannot accept the fact and continue waiting..
so stupid.. asking myself the same ques..
do he miss me the way i miss him? would he stare at the phone waiting for my msg like i am now..?
or is he just slping at a pig now..
i can choose to msg him now and find out the answer, hesitant many many times..
but maybe im just too afraid to find out the answer..
what if it is not the answer i wan?

just finish the last episode of devil besides you.
cry from the start to the end.
i cry even more then the actor that is suffering inside la ._. so retarded.
really very sad nah! watch taiwan drama already liddat..
imagine me watching korean drama ._. omg. i will nvr watch it!
faith.. give the courage to continue loving?
but i feel so insecure..
1 day ago feeling happiness from the heart, the next day struggling with feelings inside..
im too sensitive ba.. but i am a woman okay ._.
woman use their feeling to act, man use their lower part of the body to act right.
lols. :x

hao lah, i think i shld just force myself to slp so all these meaningless thoughts could disappear tgt with it.
the feeling i want.. is not what he can give issit?
so i can only accept what faith brings me?.. then who can give me this faith to continue being strong..

明明是知道我是想跟你讲话的啊。。
我可是从七点等到你十一点的叻
耍一下脾气都不行吗?

2009-06-02T02:19:00.003+08:00

sorry nvr update. dun have any feelings to write abt.
ahhh! i sucks writing feelings in english. so hard to translate -.-

anw im in hk nw :D
just spend like 100+ on the first day of my shopping.
and daddy only gimme like 200+? omg!
how am i going to survive??!!!
still haven got my N85!! will have a hard time begging. sigh.
i really really nid it to take some new pics ):

so.. ytd i bought a 3/4 pants, a dress and some undies. Lols :x
yea.. ltr going to watch angels and demon with daddy :D
hahahaha. going to bring him to do some shopping ^_^
i cant wait to wear my new clothes. omg.

and im abit crazy abt rc.
you know wad? i just stare at it for 1 whole hr -.-
so interesting, ppl comes and go. hahaha
ytd dear help me hack like 7 lvls (:
sigh, i miss him so much.
duno he got treat mumu good or nt ): or is the poor thing thrown on the floor..
ahhhhh! worries*
and why so many girl like my laogong T_T go find someone else nah!
grrrrrrrrrr. angry.

2009-05-29T19:49:00.003+08:00

so bored.. when will restaurant city gonna open again?
dun feel like starting on a new drama..

my mother was like so shock that i came home so early la.
i didnt even wan to go home. just that have no whr to go nia..
dear didnt wan to go out with me, aiai say she is too tired to get out of the hse.
so irritating.
when i wan go out then nobody wan to pei me, then when they wan go out i must accompany them?
joker, i will rmb it man.
fine aiai will be diff cos she pei me ytd (:

ytd was so down when dear pour cold water over my head for suddenly canceling our outing.
lucky aiai cancel her frens' meeting and accompany me to stop all my thoughts (x
thanks so much.. i really appreciate it (:
went kbox was her cos she didnt wan to watch angels and demons.
i didnt really sing mostly watch her..
but im really contented, at least im not alone (:
thanks!!

tmr is dear's ahma birthday.. means we didnt have much time alone tgt.
i didnt really wan to go.. still thinking..
sigh, i tried so many days planning just to spend more time with him..
maybe im the stupid one trying so hard.
even if he understand the real me.. so what?
whats the point when he dun make a change to it..
i will still feel the same, maybe even worst..

even understand but choosing to just fold your arms and watch..
its so cruel..

2009-05-28T14:48:00.002+08:00

hello. for some reasons i cant seems to get off playing restaurant city.
so angry lah. the first website that i went was facebook~!
WTH?!

so i decided not to quit, i will kao my own strength to build a restaurant ^_^
who needs his help anyway.
i can live off with wooden table and chairs. HMPH.
regret sending back all the items....... ._.
tot i wont nid it anymore thats why send back, now now now GRRR.
didnt know so many of my classmate play lahs, got a whole list inside my mind of ppl i going hire hehe.

waiting for dear to reply.. so that we can go out..
he doesnt seem to anxious abt it at all lah, then what am i getting so hurry abt.
stupid stupid. even better, continue stay at home watch my taiwan dramas.
HMPH.
dun go out dun go out lor! big deal. see 2 more days going back hk le thats why find time go out with you nia!
you dunwan then OKAY DE.
tmr ponning sch again~ so exciting. wooo.

heartbroken.

2009-05-27T21:13:00.004+08:00

blog becoz i got nth to do.
loading my lucky star and all the restaurant city workers are resting.
okay okay. i really really decided today last day to play.
to stop all my evil thoughts of saving money by stealing from his acct..
anw he change pw le, no chance so wont get tempted right ^_^

he was so scary just nw when he found out. make me scare until cry.
then i had to act that im watching taiwan dramas to cheat my mother im crying becos of the drama and not that stupid thing.
hais, he feel like such a stranger to me suddenly..
im having like stealing from a shop and get caught that kind of feeling.
it is just a game, and not like he is angry because i use his money, is because i make him dc by logging in and he got to hack all over again.
im starting to feel so insignificant compare a game..

right, maybe i am.
am i even his girlfriend? maybe im just a friend to him..
feel so hurt.. even worst then ytd when he said the "fool" word..
ytd i didnt cry, today i cried badly.
why why? i dun even understand myself.

anw, besides the emo thoughts which bothers me like hell.
i skipped school today ((: !

AND WHY THE HELL AM I SO SUEY?!
the teacher call my mother at 8+ this morning la.
lucky i didnt lie about not having school, but but the most impt point IS:
IM THE ONLY ONE WHO GOT CALLED.

wth wth wth?! last time physics remedial also liddat.
becos of the stupid call my mother say i had to go sch on fri la.
seriously, it is even more boring then normal sch days.
imagine slping on the table for 3 hrs doing nth..
i'll rather have lessons!!

okay fine. mumu you are my best frienddd ):
waaaaaaa )': *hug*

2009-05-22T16:33:00.002+08:00

stupid thief. curse you that you will become a pig in your next life,
this life, you will die in a painful way without any love one besides you cos they all die.
and you will get stuck by lightning blah blah okay whatever.

i hate you thief! HOW CAN YOU STEAL MY PHONE?!
stupid man. 90% malay or indian. so irritating man.
okay, i was in the bank at the counter thr transferring money then i left my phone on the table and walk out. then when i found out and came back my phone is gone!
one auntie that was still in the bank queue tell me that one black man took my phone and folo behind me, thinking that he is trying to caught up and give it back.
BUT HE DID NOT.
he freaking take it to sell i think.
great. my beautiful pink phone is gone.
i was so anxious that i run all the way home and cut the line. then i tried calling my phone he hang it all up!!! so angry. grrrrrrrr.

nvm, it is just a new start soon for another new phone.

2009-05-21T18:47:00.002+08:00

i miss you so much...

hey. my name is mumu! i am ashley's son. hahaha!
so cute right. today weili, ruth and sandy accompanied me to lot 1 to collect mumu.
i mean, im not suppose to get it today but the person selling it is so nice!

and i just received my hair extention by mail today! (:
hehehehe, now i could have long hair!
ohhh, maybe im not dying my hair already cause otherwise dunno how to match the extention nah! hehehe.

finally meeting dear on sunday! so excited!

2009-05-20T18:21:00.003+08:00

life is such a torture.
i think he just went out again, not like i can care.
suan le.. promise hao myself cannot get angry de.

something happen in school, even through i know people change..
but when the real thing happens.. i feel so disgusted about it..
friends can hurt eachother..what world is this?
i feel so angry for her, my friend who got hurt.
im not sure if there is another side of the story, but it just make me realize once again how stupid friendship is.
stupid, in a sense of.. it just make people blind, blind with trust.
feeling that this world is wonderful, feeling that everything is okay cuz i got you.

rubbish nonsense.
seriously, how realistic can people get?
im so sick of this stupid mask on their face.
who knows what it is behind the mask of theirs?
who knows... nobody knows.

2009-05-19T19:59:00.002+08:00

好像很久没有blog了耶
somehow.. i dun really had the mood to blog.
blog wad? i dunoooooo!
about my feelings? i feel indifferent about it.
anyway, promise myself must hao hao save money de..
nvr go out nvr eat or wad..
but i spend all my money at home! OMG!
._______.
yes, i spend like $180 at home. lol.
whatever, poor people ought to have poor life.
sounds good (:

我真的感到有点guilty..
爱一个人不是想他幸福吗？
可能我不够爱他。。
也对啊，没有什么好生气的。
only go out with friends wad, not even girl
所以。。我的感受根本就不重要啦

hais, 我真差劲耶

2009-05-15T20:58:00.000+08:00

so cute right? hahahhahaa!
btw i preorder it :x
cant wait for its arrival!!!

2009-05-13T19:54:00.002+08:00

everytime come to this page also dunno what to write,
when i just had a whole head of words in my head :/

life was boring as usual, got hook on a new hobby.
watching taiwanese drama :D i got like the whole list that is waiting for me to watch.
in love with the show 爱就宅一起, somehow when i am watching this show i feel abit secure,
this is soooooo weird ._.
it is really very nice! it make me laugh like crazy and cry finish a whole pack of tissue at the end.
well, happy ending at the end! reason why i like taiwanese show :D

the feelings i felt.. it is just so weird.
in love with 2 songs as well, from tank and another one duno who :D
dear doesnt like it though.
maybe its just not the phrase to like it yet. oh well.
when i hear the song, saddness will envelope my heart and body.
i duno why im making myself sad, but i just cant control myself from hearing!
weird weird. SO WEIRD.

anw, saving money 真的好辛苦啊!
looking at other ppl eating happily, when you had to try all ways to convince urself not to buy any food.
well, but i had like $50 dollars now in 2 weeks :D
大成功！

一个人就好

2009-05-11T00:22:00.003+08:00

the end of my birthday.
a day seems to past so fast.

how shld i describe my this year birthday?
i dont know..
not happy nor sad, felt just like any other typical day i have.
should i be grateful for that? at least not at home and rot.
可是.. 为什么我的心却是空荡荡的？
i got what i want, dear bought me a huge doraemon as birthday gift.
but also because of that.. i used up almost all his money and he left like $2.
then he started blaming the doraemon and me for spending all his money.
when i heard that, i duno how to describe my feeling..
今天可是我生日叻！难道就不可以等到明天才骂吗？
why it seems so hard just to let me be happy today..
is thr gf who is afraid to ask her bf for a birthday gift that she want?
somehow, in the shop, i got this inner fight with myself abt whether ask him but or nt.
this seems stupid, but i seriously have butterfly in my stomach.
i duno how long can i stand, 一个不适合自己的爱情.

anw, we made a cake tgt. that seems to be the happiest moment of today (:

所谓的过程什么时候才会走完？有时候我以为自己走过了，可是，走过究竟是什么？看的开，放的下，就是走过吗？

为什么我总是一个人呢?

2009-05-10T00:11:00.003+08:00

it was my birthday 12 mins ago.
but why am i still not in the mood of happiness somehow?
the first person who congrats me was cynthia, then weili.
then no more.

pathetic isnt it? sit here blogging and sobbing.
i didn't cry, just that tears roll down from my eye.
my frens wish all my dreams will come true and alot of presents.
is it true? i stare at the msg for awhile thinking what to reply..
cos i know it is just words with emptiness, no meaning at all.
my dreams will nvr come true and no ppl with any presents is going to stand infront me and say this is for you..
so i reply-ed just a 'thankyou'. just some sacartism ofcourse.

i started off chasing ppl, my 'friends' for my birthday present.
then.. i gave up.
so what if i had the presents? birthday present is a blessing for someone.
chasing is not a blessing, i feel better buying it for myself.

as for my bf..
i dunno whr he is, i expected him so much from him.
but then again, did i expect too much? i shldn't expect anything right?
disappointed. maybe he just fall asleep or smth.. oh well.

watched a taiwan love show just nw, so romantic.
love nid courage and trust to bear fruit.
while watching, tears roll down my face again.
jealousy and admiration. i can do nothing but being jealous.
jealous abt the male char doing so much for his love, jealous that they can have such great love and memories. jealous that he have the courage to rebell against the whole world even himself to trust his girl. jealous because this kind of thing only happened in TV dramas.
this world, is thr such love that allows me to own?

like i said, even if the rest of the world doesn't care, i will celebrate my own birthday (:
为什么我总是一个人呢?

连你都会残忍隔绝, 我的心能要谁了解?
囚禁在距离笑声最远的房间
独隔离寂寞地盘旋,
全世界都停了电, 全世界都封了街, 我所有窗子外面被贴上黑夜
我呐喊思念却没人听见
绝望到极点剩的是疲倦..

2009-05-07T23:36:00.003+08:00

hello, i decided to blog! (:

new desires. like seriously. $$$$

1. dresses and clothing.

which colour is better? :/

2. eyelash extention- thinking..
3. hair extention. the clip-on one which cos like $11 each and i nid 5!! ):

5. really really nid to cut off weight otherwise dun even nid to buy anything cos cannot even fit into them! i mean can fit la, but SO UGLY DE omg.

can i get all of them by june? {{: hehehe. im going shoppping once i got my birthday $$.
weeets.

fading away.

2009-04-30T22:39:00.002+08:00

hey readers, i think im seriously going mia or closing up this blog.
cause it bought me alot of troubles then i alr have.
sighh. no choice i guess :/
wont be updating much unless super impt or smth..
yea, leave me a tag if you want, or find me in msn.

thanks :D

2009-04-30T21:37:00.002+08:00

hey i finally posted! haha!

feel sooooooo tired today. went out with ruth and weili.
okay for like 3 hrs.
i left like 10 bucks omg. it is so so sad.
bought a new hairband and a doraemon for birthday present for derrick.
sigh, broke.
i am going to leave myself at home to rot x.x

so... nth much to post, thats a good reason for me not to post anything but
ms kek let ruth sit nxt to me. yea, thats like miracle.
cause her mother see the teachers and request cos she nid some help.
i think i only can help her for like math...
oh well :D
nothing special.

i love my hubby. nxt week is my birthday ! :D
*hint*

2009-04-26T22:58:00.002+08:00

okay. im starting to feel sorry for my short hair.
i wan it long now. sigh.
cant i have a more beautiful body like other ppl? ):
like taller and not so fat legs...
oky nvm SIGH T.T

sat went out with dear, went bugis.
we ate pastamania for lunch and pepper lunch for dinner.
yea. bought his router at sims square and head back to bugis junction.
and we watched knowing, scary show for me )x
then he send me to clementi and i went home to slp (:
muackzxzx my hubby x3

today went out with marmie to eat lunch and do shopping in NTUC @ jurong point.
its like the clothes and bras thr are so attractive. *im abit crazy abt nice-looking bras.
yes, i fell in love with 3 dress and 2 bra, just by walking into 2 shops.
omgzxzx. i left like 50 bucks not counting owe marmie 200 dollars for iphone.
this sux man, being poor is so cruel )x

my two eyes growing with $$$.
ahhh! i just rmb-ed. i still have the $75 dollars haven buy! omgggg!
this is so depressing. HAIS.

2009-04-24T21:20:00.003+08:00

happy 9th belated anniversary to my laogong :D

btw before i start off with my day,
can anyone tell me when you watching tv you can or cannot reply sms?
even you cant, then advertisement will reply or not?
i mean like seriously, you chop off my head i also dun believe a person can be engross in advertisement. ._.

today so many things happened in sch today,
sad that weili nvr come sch today miss out all the fun :D

okay first, i got smash by a netball on my right eye.
then the degree of the specs seems funny to me.
well, i cant rmb who hit me wif the ball.. so yea :/

then we got like 2hrs40mins of E-math with Ms Kek.
totally hell. she only gave us a 20mins break.
ruth is like sitting beside me falling aslp cos Lee Khim is gone for penang.
yea then after math is gel and we got another spot check.
the 1st one was like only 2 days ago.

so i got book for short skirt. aiyo only 1 point who cares (:
and almost 20 ppl or less got their items confiscated cos this time the prefects and teachers are smart enuff to check the cupboards and under the table.
and one of my classmates got found out bringing cigg to sch,
then she cried. i wonder what will happen to her ): hope shes okay though.
and i alr got 2 suspects in my head appearing,
but not super sure.. but i know its one of them.

yea, so fun day at sch.
thanks rebakah for putting my handphone in her locker T.T

2009-04-22T22:16:00.005+08:00

haha, the quality of the pic is so bad omg )x
i guess wont have as many photo updates any sooner.
yea cos the new phone camera sucks, 2 mega pix, same as iphone.
didnt know iphone camera is so horrible :o

anw, 1hr and 40mins more to 9mths!
so exciting! (x okay, i duno what im excited about.
sounds so stupid. but hey, 9 mths leh! wooots.
-edited.
okay, change my mind after like 20mins.
totally NOT interested in the day after 1hr20mins.
not like he care, he will just fall aslp like every single mth. okay whatever man.
online so long nvr even talk to me, when i finally sum up my patience in waiting and tok to him
then he tell me I WANT GO OFFLINE LIAO. nbcb.
angry lahs. somemore say "i dont think i wan to go out until i have time"
okok i know his mye is coming and im trying my best to be a understanding gf and let it be the way it is BUT..

aghhhh, how can he phrase it in such cold and heartless way?! T___T
feel super insecure now. sigh.
a short conversation in 20mins can bring my mood all the way down man. ):
was thinking whole day abt how to tell him cannot go out tmr, but now all guiltiness faded away and brings a new sensation of disappointment that the fact when i told him he shows no sign of angriness at all.
just realize, tmr is just another normal sunny day. nothing special.
he told me to brainwash myself, yea trying to ): i use to be so good at this i rmb.
okay fine. love is so cruel.

oh the pic on top is drawn by Miss Ruth Lim :D
it is so cute right omg!! on my birthday page in the dairy. so cute lahs doraemon. :p
(i had been kissing it, so dirty)

today chen gim wallet+phone got stollen.
then Mrs Choo got this spot check in everyone's bag.
LUCKY put my phone in the locker.
but daphy forget to put my pink phone in the locker, so kana confiscate ._.
ok nvm, at least my iphone is safe.
ohhh, daphy feel so guilty that she treat me to long john's after sch!
i forgive her alr (: (:
and chen gim apologise to me, cos she is part of the cause of my phone being confiscate :/
the theif is so stupid, WHO WILL STEAL HER CHINA PHONE that only can sell for that 20+?
and her wallet only have 50cents. lol.

i cant wait to find out whose the theif.
is my post too wordy? i dun see ppl post being so wordy ):
i should change my way of writing soon :D byebye!

mia or no mia? ):

2009-04-21T22:45:00.002+08:00

okay i dont know what to blog about.
feel like going m.i.a ...

just had chinese oral on mon,
it sucks to the core, the reading part. all the words i know how read,
but too nervous then all stop and read wrongly. ):

stupid feelings are killing me, why do humans have feelings?
i wonder if animals have too. :/ i think they do.
cos pig seems like he had grew closer to me :x at least he nvr shake when i hold him.
haha! such a cutie pie.

okay.. quite a great accomplishment to write until here. bye :D

baby (:

2009-04-20T22:29:00.004+08:00

A picture speaks thousand words.

2009-04-20T00:12:00.002+08:00

hahha. feel in loved with editing.
but it looks all the same, so its quite boring :d but who cares.

today its a great day except the night :D
cause.. bought many many things, and a iphone!
brought a $53 dress and $23 top from fox. then a $10 dress from bugis street.
at last, an iPhone for $190!
hahaha surprise why so cheap?

because it is a fake china phone :D
yes yes. i mean not like im going to use the function in the real one..
why not buy a fake one?
it looks excetly the same except inside the format not the same.
and they have extra function like watching tv in the fone. so cool (:

at night, qurrel with dear again.
cause he say boy tag my blog ._.
when he had way more then me.
this is so lame man. okay. im starting to feel sorry for myself for knowing so less guy friends.
so, he is the only one that can communicate with girls, and i cant.
wow, such fairness.

is my blog too boring to attract only air? ._.
not like before i cared and go his blog to check if any girls tag him.
and now, he made me care.
blog alr so many tags, can you imagine being in msn whole day with swamp of girls online-ing?
i cant imagine.

rawr, jealousy kills a cat.
yes, maybe my hubby is too handsome for anyone to endure ):

2009-04-19T00:29:00.002+08:00

my new pouch.
so cute right! hahaha its only $5.90! (;
today its a tiring day. things didnt go really well.

went to yishun meet dear, then went to his house play wii.
okay its not that fun, just okay okay.
cos i duno how to play his game ):
then 6.30 dear house like so many ppl le then headed to orchard.
then weili said she is not going.... -.-
ruth is like super late, so i went from somerset to dobby to waste more time.

so after an hour she finally reach.
wait for her puff ..
met her fren thr, talk awhile and window shop awhile then went to watch 17 Again. :D
the show is super good. i laughed. hahahaha. (4.7 stars)!
then finish movie alr 11.20 actually can take mrt one, abt lazy to change.. so.. decided to take taxi with ruth home.
still early for taxi, so went alley wait for ruth to take 2 puff ._.
she is such a bad influence man. tried to teach me, but as usual i can nvr be able to learn that thing, so im a natural guaikia. hehes. :D
so, my hand got this smell now, so erxim.

cheated the taxi driver that we had not enuff money.
but the uncle is kind of not fun.
so.. head to my house first then go to ruth one. haha.
was fun at night but morning the stupid heat is so hot make me sweat and all the make up waste went to waste. okay whatever angry ):
and waiting for ppl totally sucks, i was clever abt being late every meeting hehehe.

i love you hubby (: muacks.

2009-04-17T22:18:00.002+08:00

Hey again. school was horrible this week.
we got a 5 item test and 2.4km run.

i feel so disappointed in myself! )):
like seriously, everything go down compare to last years except sit and reach.
whole body cramp now.
i think they just made a bad decision by letting 2.4km the day right after 5item.
so, today i ran my 2.4km at 14.20min.
0.09min behind from an As. I AM GOING TO REDO THIS.

before the 2.4km.. stomachache, sit at the toilet bowl then its okay.
bad day. after recess so tired that i keep falling aslp in math and physics.

btw smth special happened today, Mrs Choo speak to us abt the police case!
so we didnt report for nth after all.
oh my god! i cant wait for what they are going to find out! so interesting lah (:
people in sch are getting so not nice now.
they got this funny face that make me scare. heard a few rumors too.
well, just ignore them :D

i love my blogskin now! keep looking at it everyday hahahaha.
i cant wait for my birthday you know! presentssss! hahaha!
sorry for not posting any photo! i will try to take more tmr!

Confession Mission FAILED!

2009-04-16T23:45:00.004+08:00

CHANGED MY BLOGSKINS TODAY.
love it soooooooo much! i know the words on my titles sound abit slutty and bitchy.
hey, but dun judge a book by its cover okay?
i just think its cool. hahaha (:

5 items test today. my physical fitness getting worst and worst.
dunno what to do abt it. well, at least i had no prob of passing :D
btw, got back amath test paper today. 21/25 :D
am i the highest in class? i am not sure.. but pls tell me i am! omg! hahaha!
today router reached.
BUT no wireless when i opened and tried it.
super pissed. call daddy and give him a good scolding abt his stupid-ness of taking rubbish back home.
yea, so dear had to buy himself after all.
maybe he wont lend Nintendo Wii to me anymore since i didnt contribute anything..
i know by right he SHOULD lend me.. but i just dont feel confidential asking him to lend me anymore. }: (although its not my fault that made him spend another $80 on it)
had to wait for his simple brain to change so that he would lend me automictic-ly..
which most likely not to happen.. 不好意思 ma...
guess i just had to go his house or marina house to play wii T.T ..

anw today finally manage to tell him the prob that i hide in my heart for so long.
since we stead. thought it was going to work out after such a long time.
BUT, in the end i was too paiseh to tell him how to change that.
asked him to guess but he guess wrongly (disappointed) :(
so i did copy the sentence but too afraid to paste it,
so... no chance of making him change after all ): ++ BIG SIGH. HAIS HAIS.

why the hell am i so scare,
afraid of rejection? i alr expected it, then why am i so fking paiseh for nth in particular -.-
agh. so angry with myself la.
now he went slp and i got nth in the end.
stupid simple minded person .______.

i feel much more comfortable writing it here.. in 3rd person form.
wrote this for him to read anw.. but just feel not so paiseh.
feel soooooooo retarded. why am i born with this weird brain?

yeayea, i am refering to you. -.- *face red*

2009-04-15T22:55:00.002+08:00

today i saw someone's pic.
i didnt know people can change so much in just 1-2yrs.
did i change too? to me ofcos not, but ppl said i changed.
well.. maybe i did :D is that a bad thing?

read fren's blog just now, jealous jealous jealous.

WHY THE HELL IS PPL'S BOYF SO SWEET AND MINE IS NOT?!

._. okay chill.
gosh, really damn sweet. hair standing.
*cross finger wish mine going to be liddat too, but not going to happen until my nxt life*
want to quote a few sentences from his blog, but too afraid he will come read and tag after reading.
damn no face ):

okay stop the crap.
acceptance is the most impt in a relationship :D:D
must learn well.. ._________.

today went to chua chu kang after school with weili.
cause its her turn for counseling, sit outside the room for an hr and wait for her.
alone you know ): fell aslp sitting on the floor with mp3 in the ears.
then she wake me up after coming out.
so tired you know!

waited stupid bus for 45mins.
reach there refund item and bought new things again :D
and guess what. I SAW AN IDEAL HIGH WAIST SKIRT.
yes finally, okay it looks ideal but when it wear it nothing special..
maybe is because of the colour i choose and i took a super big size which falling down if i dont hold it.
so in the changing room looks horrible,
too lazy to change size and try again.

so... forget it :D

2009-04-14T22:39:00.002+08:00

promise dear that i will post abt him, so post today :D

today went to orchard with weili and sandy :D
we went to forever 21 to try on clothes again.
took a photo in the changing room :D
but dear dont let me post, he say cannot let ppl see. so weird.
so today i got no photo :D

yea, so before the orchard, it was counselling.
she tried to give me some inspirations about psychologist.
she say i suit for that job cause of my lit and math. (really? :/)
went orchard to buy socks. yes! the ankle socks, lucky got stock :D
i like one top in forever 21, but no money buy D:
hope they still sells when i go the nxt time )x

to my hubby, thanks for being there when i need you! (x
dont know since when, i started to realize you become more and more impt to me,
thinking times and times again the scene if you leave me. am i relaying you too much?
i dun know, but for now, i dont wish to care.
hope we wont argue as much anymore )x
i really love you!

p.s. must tag okay! i want long long tag de ah.

2009-04-13T21:59:00.002+08:00

nothing happened in school today. (strange)
the teachers didnt call, the principle didnt call me in.
strange. strange. strange.
wonder if its good or bad. man.

skipped chinese today, went home to slp.
i am sooooo tired. ):
getting so irritated with people in facebook. (vampire wars)
actually i dont think she is bad attitude,
just too busybody and calculative.
4 more days to weekend. it sounds so long. omg.

saying that you will wait for me is another lie of yours?
why are you still coming back to torture me after so long.
cant you just leave me alone?
i don't understand.

2009-04-12T01:21:00.003+08:00

hello today i went starhub and did many many things! haha (:

i changed my prepaid into plan finally!
hahaahaha! at first i was eyeing on that N85. omg i want it so much!
but after seeing the real price, knowing that it is not very worth getting it here compare to hk,
so i got a 1 yr plan with $8 deducted every mth :D
and i am glad to announce i am going to have a personal line telephone! omg so happy!
not like im going to use it often though ._.
since i have unlimited free sms and incoming call now! haahahha!
N85~ wait for me to come and save you! hahaha! (:

i dunno why you said meeting me for only 2-3hrs is not enuff for you.
is it because meeting me for just awhile seems like a waste of effort and time for you?
i feel so hurt.
if it is someone i love, i would go anywhr to meet them even through it is only for a few mins.
because even if it was just to see their back walking away, i feel satisfy.
sigh, is it because i am just not worth the attention?
or am i just doing too much for other ppl?

):

2009-04-10T21:49:00.002+08:00

went shopping with weili, marina at orchard today.
omg, first time i spend so much money on half-branded stuff.
at least there is a brand :D

i bought from mango a $13 tank top.
then bought $10 black shoe on offer! i feel so worth buying it and a top from cotton on for $15.
after that, spent $38 in forever 21.
we bought the dress and want to wear it tgt for nxt week's art application {:
it looks super good when i wore in the changing room,
but when i go home and try it on it look abit fat ):

okay nvm, :D super satisfied today.
i think im going to refund the black thing i bought that day.
it doesnt look very nice when i wore it today.
i mean it do looks nice, but abit not worth ):

(:

2009-04-09T21:49:00.002+08:00

hello everyone! guess whr i went with weili today!
omg you wont believe it la hahaha!
i went to the POLICE STATION.

not like i did something naughty.
but we went there to report about theft :/
after that me and weili is like super regret going,
and the police is like super serious la. so scary omg.
then after sit there for 2hrs then report finish.

at nite, mrs choo call weili and ask her abt it :D
ok now i feel better cos she wasnt even angry at us.
omg, i scare i am going to sit at the principle office on monday la. aiyo first time leh!
everyone is like dun believe we dare to go lor,
hey but we went! hahaha!

i cant wait for tmr omg!

爱情 ,有时脆弱的只值80元 ……

2009-04-07T17:26:00.008+08:00

very meaningful.. please read! hahaha!
this is a comic! (:
i know the font look quite small.. and it would be troublesome to enlarge it.
but it is really nice! haha (: something to share (:

很美的一个爱情故事，看了以后很有感触，所以转帖到这里。
我更多的是想让大家明白：你深爱着一个欺骗你的人，自己又欺骗着深爱你的人
莫非
这就是传说中的孽缘？
莫非
这就是传说中的造化弄人？

爱来的时候
是真的
爱走的时候
是真的

被你伤害的人还真实的存在
你却生活中伤害你身边的人
真实的爱情
结束在真实的欺骗

在被真实的欺骗和伤害下
你失去了真实的爱情
有谁会理解你现在真实的伤害？
有谁会理解你当初真实的爱情？

2009-04-04T20:55:00.001+08:00

say byebye to it (:

deleted lots of link for those that are gone or dead,
ask me to relink back if you have a new one (:

2009-04-03T22:08:00.003+08:00

didnt want to post today BUT,
since my lovely laogong decided to tag everyday then i should post rite! (:
this give him the motivation to tag more! haha!

anyway, yesterday went out after school to meet dear.
then we went to a salon, and i reborned my hair :D
hey, thanks for the patient to wait for 1hr+! haha!
now my hair look straight! yes, finally!
now no one could say my hair look like grass (:
didnt do much ytd, after went library cafe to eat the snacks there,
omg! the chicken chunks is sooooo nice!
cos they are like having a offer of 2 in 1 price,
so dear choose french fries, and i choose the chicken chunks..
which is a super good choice. I am going back for more!
then went home for dinner..
didnt really spend much time tgt ):

so, at night i am so tired that i slept at 8pm. hoho.
today had 2.4km run during PE again, i run 7 rounds like 13.05 mins...
omg it is like so slow! how can i get an A liddat?
it only have 14mins to be A ): and i cant complete last round in 55secs. omg T.T
oh no, i guess i couldnt walk at all.
and then have CCA after that. it is SO SO tired. sigh.
i feel like sleeping now. dear is like MIA at msn.
oh well. guess what he is doing? ):

bye readers!

2009-03-31T22:31:00.003+08:00

me and weili! hey my hair is more brown then hers! haha!

hey went for CAMPUS SUPERSTAR on mon! (:
i didnt know why i went but.. some people go for fahrenheit :D haha.
okay i kind of like them after the show, got one guy is so cute. omg ):
felicia chin is sooooooo pretty! her legs are like milky white, smooth silk, long and slender..
I WANT THEMMMM.
when can i have them? ): maybe another 10 years. omg.
support until 10.30pm, then cynn's mother fetch me to bukit batok and then took bus home (:
oh btw! there are two more pics! they are super cool, but my frens haven send me.
sigh, will post them when i have them :D

anw, first day with my new hairstyle..
everyone likes it so much! they say i look hot and good [:
even my form teacher! hahahha! so happy lahs!
but today is like... cos i was too lazy to iron it so... BOOM.
(too shy to explain it)
but at nite i manual cut them and it looks fine now! hahaha!

lots of weird long lost people msg-ed me this few days,
feel so weird~ but hahaha! (:
shed a whole lot of tears just now. sigh, why am i always so emo? ):

2009-03-29T22:24:00.002+08:00

saying byebye to my longg hair in the salon ):

new hair! you cant really see it cos im wearing black shirt haha! :D

yes today i went jurong point and cut hair!
i am like stuck in the thoughts of cut or dont cut!
i was sooooo afraid that i will regret.

even the hair cutter was like dun regret ah! omg!
so i had two extreme hairstyle.
SUPER LONG. and SUPER SHORT :D
okay, anyway. i wont be cutting if not for the stupid new school rule. sigh ):

and you know what.
just when i was trying to appreciate my new hair style.
i found out that one side of my hair curl in a weird way.
my mother say im born with it! OMG. i just rmb when im young...
so it look soooooo weird now, it wont go straight with any straightening products ):
my poor hair....
i think im like going to use the hair straight machine every morning.. ):

2009-03-28T23:30:00.003+08:00

today is such a tired day!
i wake up at like 6.35am then change and wait for weili at mrt
his father fetching me! hahaha.

then reached ACS independent. half of my class pon the walkaton! omg.
there are like 9 methodist schools! hahaha.
then walk for a long long time.
me, daphy, yixuan and weili was like slacking and sneak inside a mama shop
and buy alot of food :D

then continue walking...
met nicola mei! saw her at the bustop was her friends.
omg, i totally forgot she study in ACS international. HAHA
then we are like OMG OMG on the phone. ._.
hahaha. then when we reached there, everyone is like all going home.
and we sat on the grass for another 20mins...
daphy and yixuan abandon for their church friends. so left, me, weili, marina and eva.
marina suggested we should take cab. it is like so tired. omg.
went plaza sing, ate mos burger. ok it sux, i only ate half of the burger. ):

bought pet food and cabbed to taka. (marina's idea again)
we all paid $1 and she pay the rest.
then walk and try on clothes in taka. im like open my eyes for branded goods!
oh no! im like going into branded stuff )x
but no money! hahaha.

went to swensan and ate lunch. im like pok and owe weili $7!
hahah the chicken rice there is like fantastic! i love it!
btw im like going to cut hair tmr! im so so scare it will turn out sucky!
please i nid a nice hairstyle! ): SOBBB.

p.s. IN LOVE WITH MANGO STUFFFFS.
+still thinking about tongue piercing.. kim just supported me into going tgt. oh no!

2009-03-25T22:16:00.004+08:00

why is my tagboard so lonely? im like writing to myself.
right, i AM writing to myself -.- retarded~

i am going to have a mentally break-down.
i mean seriously. both in sch and outside sch.
should i go back hk?
i am begging my dad to let me stay nw, but its getting worst and worst.
not like i've tell anyone.
if i go back, will i have a new start or even worst?
when will he even get more mature? i dun have time alr.. sigh.

i doubt there will be a change anw.
other people is not afraid to let out their feelings,
the looks from others.. their expressions and reactions..
why am i so afraid?

feel so down ): keep offending people when im trying to be nice.
man, im really really horrible. ._.

2009-03-24T23:01:00.002+08:00

today school is an excitement! haha!
because it is my first time staying in the sick bay!

hahahha! when i go sch i felt abit dizzy then after assembly went with weili to sickbay.
we sleep at thr until sandy seah also came! haha so funny.
i was aslp but heard her say "what the hell"

after 9 went back for amath (:
its so good after a satisfied sleep. haha.

and i just got my new glasses today! (: (:
byebye!

2009-03-22T23:44:00.004+08:00

Happy 8th month anniversary baby.
though we just argued.

cant we just have a day of peace? sigh.
i dont like this at all, the tone and the way he talk to me.
i hate it.

if we love eachother why is it still having such stupid problems like communications.
gosh.
i told him to tag my blog so many many many times.
he nvr did anyway, not like i've forgotten.
but nvm. if i force him he will just write one 'hello' there.
what's the point?
my aim is make him understand my feelings and my everyday life everyday.
if just come here to tag.. must as well dun tag.

anw today we celebrated our anniversary.
watched coming soon. it is so scary, NC16.
like any other horror show, i spent half of the movie covering my ears and eyes.
:/
anw dear give me money to buy a doraemon for 7th and 8th month present.
well, combine. :D

hahahha, tmr is like sch reopen.
hate school!!!! ):

2009-03-21T23:56:00.003+08:00

i want to cry, but somehow i cant..

i recently feel that we are not so meant for eachother after all.
there is so so many things he dont like abt me, and i dont like abt him.
we almost argue at least once each day.
i tried to reason with him, i mean i AM serious and i am using a nice tone.
but he doesnt sound like he want to reason with me :/
he kup my phone, thats the best evidence right? ):

he thinks all the probs come and its all my fault.
i admit i am wrong. but does it mean he is not wrong at all?
a relationship needs two side to work. why am i always feeling that im the only one that want to change myself?
is it just that he did changed and i didnt notice?
or am i just too sensitive?
all these things just come this month, is it because we are so close to each other that our bad points start to show, or is it because our heart is changing and there is no place for anyone anymore?

sign, i am so confused..
i still want him.. but i dun wan to betray myself already.. ):

2009-03-21T14:59:00.005+08:00

hey readers! (:
(gross the middle alignment thing is so disgusting.)

it is like the end of march holiday soon. so sad ):
and also the end of the 10 oclock show! so so sad ):
well, hope there is a new one through :D

tues went gaigai with fren to martin chalet, slack thr till 6+ then headed to bishan to meet dear (:
we watch a show call dragonball evalution. hahaha.
it is quite okay, but duno why dear doesnt like it at all.
then wed went to ecp with dear and stay over. omg, it is so scary at night.
cos it is like raining heavily and we are in a tent! omgomg. i couldnt fall aslp )x
oh! we throw away the tent!

thurs wake up early, then headed to orchard with dear to watch hotel for dogs.
haha funny show. then met weili and gangs in swensans, then slack thr awhile.
after went to pasir ris with gekluo to go derrick's chalet.
omg, we made friends with his ex, hahaha! so funny.
and we bbq thr, didnt really eat much cos the food is like so dirty after they cook it cos its like they are mixing the charcoal thing together with the food! gross .
hahaha!

then take cab with gekluo to meet her jie and take back phone, then cabbed to mrt and take mrt home :/ nice day uh :D

i love you baby, you filled colours in my life (:

2009-03-15T21:54:00.006+08:00

Thing that i want :

1. tongue piecing.
2. high waist skirts + matching tops.
3. grow up and get a life (:

so ytd, it was Priscillia's wedding.

i am so proud of myelf, cause i made plenty of friends ytd ^^
grats to me ;o
they seem so happy! hope they will really last happily even after~
although it didnt work for me, oops im hinting alr t.t
okay nvm! holiday just started.
and i can see that i am going to rot at home!
so sad, stay at home really make me think alot of things.

i wish i can have a simpler mind.
cause i am so so so lonely ):
i wonder what is the feeling of getting drunk.
ecstasy? i-want-to-try. ._. oh no.

2009-03-15T18:47:00.003+08:00

love, promise. love, promise. love, promise.
all these fking illusions. all their fking lies.
so tired to believe in them.
I HAD ENOUGH OKAY.
you people all treat me like animals. fine! be that way.
whatever i dun care anymore.

2009-03-12T22:43:00.002+08:00

people always tell me, it is only normal that boys spent all their time on games.
now, define "normal"

normal- conforming to the standard or the common type;

why do they just keep their gf waiting like no tomorrow when they are happily enjoying themselves?
then why do they bother to find a gf?
just to satisfy their needs and nothing else? that is all we are made for?
why do we women had to lose to a damn NON-living things?!
cause we are not good enough?
maybe this is the reason we exist after all.

you know, i cant seem to think of a reason that is good enough to convince myself.
technology is replacing human hearts, people dunno how to love anymore.
yes, i am jealous and angry.
if i am feeling this because of another female, i can understand and tell myself that she is better.
but to a non-living thing, i cant.

2009-03-11T23:00:00.003+08:00

now the 10 oclock show that is on channel U is so meaningful.
well, at least i think so :D

找幸福的勇气

i almost cried watching the back of this episode,
we always tell ourselves things wont happened when we haven even tried yet.
what is stopping us to find our happiness?
pride? because afraid of being hurt, thats why we stop trying?

happiness is in our hands, just waiting for us to get it.
besides waiting forever, why not try now? [:

2009-03-10T22:46:00.002+08:00

hello readers!

yesyes i reborned my fridge!! haha!
everything is perfect except TOO SHORT.
i was like abit shorter! then become super short T.T

and i dunno what got into me, but
I WANT A TONGUE PIECING.
and dear doesnt let me. aghhh!
i really want to get it, but one week holiday is abit wasted isnt it.
wait till june...
LONG WAY.
and dye my hair!!! which shade of brown..
haven decide :D hahaha!
holiday is so exciting!!!

today i get back all my test paper.
failed geog and physics only :D
i pon-ed physics remedial today, the teacher call my mother T.T
then she tell her dun let me drop physics! so mean!!!

haha bye! (:

2009-03-08T14:05:00.002+08:00

sorry i look retarded with such a hottie! HAHAA.

anw, why is my mood getting worst each day?
and i am getting jealous of a DAMN computer game.
this is so lame man.
yesyes! i know it is lame, but I AM FKING JEALOUS!! wth.
and why is ppl giving me problems and more problems when i alr have enuff?
are they too free to worry abt lame things like that?
i am not abt to say here (:

stupid feelings, they are all driving me MAD.
if only i dun have ._. *sigh*

anw, i wan to have a nice fringe, looking at ppl in the mrt make me jealous.
I WANT TO LAYER MY FRINGEEEEEEEE, should i? :/

2009-03-07T00:18:00.002+08:00

hello! i really really dun feel like blogging (: hahaha
my mother came back from hk le!!
end of loneliness, but abit irratating through.

CCA is so boring.
i stone at the lab for 2hrs. (:
school is kind of bored for me, so many conflict against other people.
sigh.

wed i went www with dear.
it is such a tiring day.
we go thr like at 4+, then leave at 6.15.
quite long le bah ;o
then we eat sushi, until so full.
oh yea, while going home on the mrt, as i was eating on the train.
then she tok to a malay woman next to her (they are not related)
and say "nowadays singaporeans are not educated"
lols, then i stopped eating till she gone. ahha
i mean, i dun blame her for thinking, but do she nid to say out?
such a busy-body.

i failed physics for common test.
thinking if i shld drop it (:

wont be updating often! ahahha! (:

2009-03-01T17:19:00.002+08:00

sunset is so beautiful (:

today is a sunday and i am staying at HOME.
because of the fight ytd, cause me not to go WWW.
agh, SO ANGRY LAH.
wake up at 10+, play pet society, vampire wars, mop floor and clean hamster cage.
after doing all these, found it is only 12.
wth manz, and he still haven wake up.
roll around the bed till 2pm.

When he finally wake up, tried to HINT him.
but failed -.- *i am starting to think weather my hinting sucks or his brain just dun catch hints -.-*
so argue till 4pm.
RAIN HEAVILY. dunnid to go liao.
was so angry and emotional that i cried for 3hrs straight.
you know that kind of feeling when u want to do smth and you cant?!
yea, i got that. so i goes biting my pillow and hitting the bed.
i know it is lame, but i feel like doing it. -.-

staying in a hse alone just gives you more rooms and reasons to cry,
so i went OUT to the rain.
you know ppl say walk in the rain and cry there feels btr?
well it feels... fine ._.
getting all wet and sticky wasnt really my type of venting anger.
so went home and have a shower.
but i am hoping i will get sick through :D
and it seems to work cause, i felt cold outside and hot inside.
yay! victory to no school!

BTW where did all my sleeping skills go!!!
i am trying so hard to sleep and it is so not working ):
only in sleep, i will be truly having peace and happiness ^_____^
ok i know it sounds retarded and pig-like, but what else can u do in this stupid world rite?

2009-02-28T22:17:00.003+08:00

i finally realize how retarded the dream of living alone is,
with never ending time in a day, nobody to share with.
the feeling SUCKSS.
why didnt i notice this before? gosh.
and why must my mother gone in a common test week?! i so cannot control myself.

ytd dear come my hse pei me again, and at night we went out to buy dinner at 10pm!
it is so retarded. and he sleepover at my hse (:
my bed is so small, not really very comfortable.
this morning, we call for MAC delivery! hahaha it is so funny.
After i had tution, we sleep and play for another 3 hrs, then i got to head for the slimming centre.
because of the massive amt of food i ate over the week,
i increase like 0.4kg. omg, lucky they didnt say anything (:

after i wanted to go somerset to buy the doraemon,
but got kind of fuck up with dear on the way there,
so didnt get to buy my doraemon ):
i mean when the person had a super buey song look on the face,
you cant possibly tell him to buy for u right?
so me, feeling the super intense anger in the atmosphere,
suggested to go home when we JUST reached there.

walk walk walk,
change my mind and head to Isaten.
CHENGIM cheat my feelings! she say bibi&baba is at Isaten.
i go round and round and walk throught every single shop and didnt find the shop!!
waste my energy ._.
how retarded.

then headed home.
and when i reached home, i realise it is only like 8 oclock.
BTW, when i was washing clothes just now,
i am so shock to see a cockroach going round and round at my hamster's cage!!
and the problem is it is not going away!
i was thinking abt change the hamster cage things,
but then with a cockroach, so forget it -.-

i TOTALLY give up about change a person to my likings,
it is simply impossible.
when i talk to him nicely about them, he is take my words for wape ass paper -.-
so when u go the harsh way, i cannot imagine what will happen.
SO NEVERMIND!!!

2009-02-26T21:07:00.003+08:00

hello people! sorry for not posting hahaha! (:
had been really really busy with common test!
Amath is so easy! hope i get full marks!
but emath is like omg! i mean it is doable, BUT NOT ENUFF TIME TO SOLVE.
ugh, so angry! at least if duno how to do still okok.
BUT NO TIME TO SOLVE?!?!?!
tmr is geog test! im so going to DIE. T.T

and these few days i had fun!
tues my hubby come my hse pei wo, then we went out for dinner and i get to see him cut hair! hahaha! i feel like his wife! omg! lols! *blush*
it is nicer then his same old hairstyle, but his mother say it look like beng!
such a insult to my taste okay.
the hairstyle is SO NOT beng. gosh;

anw, wed i stayed at home slping all day.
didnt break record but almost! hahaha!
i sleep from 5-10, then from 11-the next morning! hahahah!
today go home, then went out with ruth at 6.
she is such a pig okay. so slow de.
we went bugis to buy stuff (:
and i spent 50$ ! hahahaa! so happy can get smth!
then eat with her and go home in time!

bye readers~~~~~

2009-02-23T22:23:00.002+08:00

hello! today went out after sch with frens (:
then meet Gekluo hahaha! then went out with her (:
and we watch movie the pink panter 2 (: damn funny show lahs hees.
after take mrt to tampines to meet a person (:
then after ard 8 take train home.
omg, damn stupid lahs, she left her glasses on the train, then i had to ride back to give her!
hahaha, 1st day of loniness wasnt so bad after all ! (:

laogong please get well soon! :D

2009-02-22T20:30:00.004+08:00

new school bag! :D

hahaha went to jurong point today (:
begged my mother to sponsor me $16!
so i only had to pay abt $15 for this (:
it is sooooooooooo cute!

i poned cca AGAIN on fri, didnt plan to, but daphy baby didnt want to go so...
we went for subway at my hse shopping centre and she came my hse to play! :D
she is super scare of pig. omg how can she resist him! so cute! :x

mother is going hk for 10days holiday (:
and i had the house all to myself!!!
thanks to my daydream-ing & imagination, i was actually looking forward to it like a week ago ~.~
now TOTALLY THE OPPOSITE.
cos, i am going to be super LONELY at home.
with my pathetic social circle, no one going to go out with meeeeee T.T
hey ppls, get the hint? (;

ahhhhhh! i feel so upset this few days,
thanks to my daydreams and imagination AGAIN,all i get is disappointment.
when i lay on bed, thinking the people ard me, i cant help but cry.
SO, im going to spend the next 10 days doing that in the lonely house (:
PLEASE HELP BY ASKING ME OUT ON A DATE! :D
THANKS.

p.s. im talking rubbish ._.

2009-02-19T19:43:00.003+08:00

baby give me de valentines gift ((: hees.

ytd i got counselling again. and during the conversation,
im thinking and thinking whether i should tell her THE problem.
in the end nvr tell -.-
i really got the urge to tell BECAUSE, she keep ask me what is GOAL.
then i was like go to poly and get below 20 for Os,
but i was thinking how to aim for that when I DUN HAVE A CHANCE TO SIT FOR Os?!?!?!
arghhhh! therefore, i super want to tell her de, but nvr.
continue with the story i AIM for, but wont happen -.-

my father still haven cor yet!!! im so going to tell him i dunwan to go back -.-
i feel abit selfish through, BUT STILL MUST TELL.
all they think the reason i dunwan to go back is my frens and the environment and all.
BUT IT IS NOT ONLY THAT OKAY.
if last yr they ask me to go back, MAYBE i will struggle to accept.
but this yr is like a total change for me!
last year, always bottom of the class, going to sch is like wasting part of my life.
but this year is SO different, i felt so happy about school,
people ask ME for work, homework and stuff, they think im responsible and hardworking (:
im really very happy!

HAISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
im so going to be separate from my love for 2yrs ):

你知道吗?你的出現讓我發現你是唯一我想愛的人

2009-02-15T21:51:00.003+08:00

hey happy valentine's day everyone! (:
thanks for all the presents! okay not very much due to unpopularity.
lols ;x

really really tired this few days.
after camping with dear at east coast for valentines' day on sat,
and you know what happen the next day?
we went to walk 3km just for a mcdonald breakfast!!
and 3km back ):
so we spent 2hrs walking, and 20mins eating :D
hahahaa.
after i cabbed back to school for a DAMN MATH TEXTBOOK.
k nvm -.-
after went home change and bath.

then go sembawang wait for dear again.
and we went dobby goat for movie.
guess wad we ate :D:D
THE CAFE CARTEL! hahahaha! so expensive okay!
dear say if see balloon buy for me de!
but nvr see! SO SAD LAHHHH.

and guess wad?! im running a fever now.
zzz. tmr got sch! i hate it! T.T

2009-02-13T19:44:00.002+08:00

Today is such a tired day.
bright in the morning, i ran for 4 rounds in the school track during PE.
i chiong the whole 4 rounds :D determind to cut some fats.
then after sch, cca + duty till 6 (:
i stand from 3 to 6 okay and walk ard the whole school finding missing people!
so tired! T.T

now just bath finish!
ltr going out with dear for the night (:
so happy! hahahha!
but but but i receive so little valentine's present!
so sad )x

2009-02-12T22:51:00.001+08:00

When i open up my heart and tells ppl the truth,
ppl tend to get scare and leave me.
believe? i lost faith.

once upon a time..

2009-02-10T21:33:00.004+08:00

Sorry daphy baby ):

i know you love me, i am sorry.

please dun envy me =='' cos i really hate my own behavior and attitude.
since you are so honest wif me, i shld be honest wif u too.. (:

actually im a horrible person, i nvr really had a true friend.
i mean "true" friend as in that kind of be there when you need me that kind of thing,
not just play around.
look at weili and yijing, ppl who are once so close to me are so distance now, i duno is because my prob or things are just like that, to me, friendship is so shallow, nobody last forever, like my best friends in primary sch, now they didnt even wave to me when they walk past me, not even a smile. is this call best friends?
i know i had been telling you that i will take initial and wave to them and all, but still, at first i will do that, then when time past, i wont.
so i am actually not that "open-mind" and direct as you think,
i tend to hide quite alot of things,
but things like "why u nvr wait for me just nw" i feel it is okay to be direct thats why i say it out..
sometimes i am really jealous and envy your friends also,
you treat them so closely and kind and nice, i nvr even had a friend that would take 154 with me all the way home and then go home alone. even my bf wont do that :x

yea, so im really touch..
and also the post you write for me. nobody had ever use such tone to write abt me in a post, i think u must have take alot of time to think before you will post such things (:, i almost cried when i read your post! T.T ok i am crying.

i am sorry a throw a tanturm at you,
im not really angry at you... im angry at myself.
im sorry.. ytd i was very sad.
i felt that nobody put me in their 1st place, i am already just their 2nd, 3rd..
when i need someone, nobody is there for me, i want someone to accompany me and comfort me.
someone to hear me out.. someone that i can nag to and then comfort me..
thats all.
i am very sad.. i dun like this world and myself.
i dunwan to think liddat, but ppl just show me times to times how much they dont care.
i thought i get use to this already.. but ytd was an exception..
and i really jealous of your best friend (:

really really sorry for being so harsh, i didnt want to hurt you nor anyone else.
thank you for treasuring me too (:

i want to live in a dystopia or utopia society.
the world now is like in the middle of no where.
in a dystopia society, you can lie to yourself that you are happy.
in a utopia society, you ARE happy.
whereas, in the middle of nothing, you are nothing.
you cant lie cos you are seeing reality. AND ppl's life is so not happy.
i want to change, to the ideal person that everyone like.
but in my eyes i see dreamland. -.-

ytd i ask my bf to stop playing computer and chat wif me in msn,
when he refuse, i was sad.
last time, i believe love can change people
then i rmb my uncle say that changing a person is impossible,
now i proven it myself.
when they dont change to your likings, it leave you no choice but accept right?
at least now im learning how to accept.

原來對自己很重要的東西, 對別人卻是一文不值的

2009-02-09T19:59:00.005+08:00

yesterday i went escape theme park with dear (:
the theme park is damn boring.
the most fun thing-- pirate ship and inverted is like CLOSE. -.-
so we paid 17.80 to go in and play daytona and haunted house only.
lucky it is half price otherwise super wasted man.
at thr, we played the horse game. you know when you had to throw the ball then the horse run?
yea, i play against 7 people and I WONNNN. hahahaha.
okay dear paid for it and i won (;

after, went to white sand. nothing much to do actually.
i went cross comics connection and saw a valentine bear.
it is like SO CUTE. a snow white angel bear ~.~ and holds a sign "i love you"
it loves me :D
and after thinking for a few hrs i returned thr and buy. LOL.
there is a brown one. they are suppose to be a couple but the price is making me separate them so .. T_T i felt guilty. the bear is like so lonely nw. sign.

today was boring.
i stayed back to do lit project.
after went kap with booboo baby. okay she dont love me at all T_T
now just finish math.
and im super bored, because dear is like playing games so he didnt reply, baby is like listening to her best friend say story so she didnt reply me, and kor is like NOT ONLINE FOR UNO, and im bored abt pet society till tmr.
SO, yea thats abt it, sorry for the fuss, but this is my blog rite :D
im so going offline soon -.-

computer GAMES is a noob invention.

2009-02-07T18:45:00.003+08:00

ok my new hairstyle. :D:D
i love it!

poned cca on fri, went with Ruth to far east for hair extention.
i spent $52 on this ok! ):
then eat kfc was her, and take train with her home (:
had been admiring my hair for the day (:
hahaha im crazy.

i love my baby! (:
bye all.

2009-02-03T18:41:00.002+08:00

Hello.

im so bad mood now.
just went to the Hair Saloon, and i supposedly go there to get my fridge cut only.
and dunno why the damn woman cut my behind until damn short -.-
im so fk up zzz, cut finish almost want to cry
look so ugly now, going for hair extention on sun -.-
super uncool la.

so now i had face 5 days of ugliness before going for the hair extention.
stupid saloon, not going thr forever.
waste me another 50bucks extent hair -.-

k bye. ):

2009-02-02T22:39:00.003+08:00

HeyHey! i updated okay :D
sry nt much things to say so didnt post.
yeayea anw im like bored nw.

D:D:D:D:
and i haven do my geography homework.
oh well. ):
sunday, i went watch The Wedding Game with my bf :D
it is quite nice, but i prefer Love Matters.
it is so much better.

omg. i cant wait for my birthday!
so that im officially 16! suitable for all NC-16 things :D
so happy! wooooots! :D:D:D
and i enjoy this year sch life so much btr then last yr!
except the class and the people ):
but it feels really good being a PRO [;

oh BYE!

2009-01-25T19:46:00.002+08:00

Let me introduce you, this is PIG :D

today is chinese new year eve, AND MY MOTHER LET ME OUT TILL 2AM.
BUT i am kind of stuck at home.
because my lazy bf dont want to go out with me anywhr.
then Nikolas di ask me if i wan go out ard 4+, then i was too lazy to move so =/
STUCK AT HOME.
this is so UNCOOL man. swt -.-ll
nvm nvm, im seeing my baby tmr! hahha going her hse to take hongpao! ooppps! ;x
i mean visit her parents! :D:D:D

And about my blog,
my bf says he dont tag blogs anymore because,
'even i tag im not going to see it any sooner anw"<<<<< WHAT IS THIS?
it really got me fume. like really fumeeeee.
yea so anw ;/
NEW YEAR AND BAD LUCK IS COMING TO ME.
OMGOMGOMG T.T

2009-01-23T22:46:00.002+08:00

HEY IM BACK HOME (:

today is me and dear's 6th anni (: GRATS MEEEEEEEE. lols ;x
keep up the goooood work!
and i went out wif dear.

andandand! he bought me a hamster for our 6th anni present!
so happppppppy!
im so touch at first okay (x(x
i love you dear!

then after we went to watch Love Matter!
its NC16 but the guy didnt check our IC!
omg the show is very nice, everyone laugh like siao at first!
hahahahha!

it is a super fun day today (x
anw my hamster is call PIG. HAHHA (:

byeeeee!

2009-01-23T11:22:00.002+08:00

hello everyone.

in school i make 3 new frens (:
which is sitting behind me!
they are ChenGim, Ruth and Eva :D:D
hahahha during free periods we were sharing jokes like mad haha.
they say im 100% stupid! so sad )x

and then, i gt counseling after sch!
k at first im quite scare. since you know, i gt a phobia at interacting with ppl ALONE -.-
it was nt as bad as i though it is, but i dun tink it will help though.
it is like we are suppose to draw a pic,
then she infer from thr.
i draw doreamon ofcoarse.
and im suppose to create a story for him.
and so, i create one that is to her likings, and since i alr know what she is going to say,
so i dun tink it helps.

I didnt really open up to her and tell her my probs =/
mostly during the session im saying that i enjoy my life.
which is like ~.~ nt true.
even daphy baby open up and tell her probs,
but i just dunno how to say )x

2009-01-21T22:54:00.003+08:00

I FINALLY REALISE HOW HARD IT IS TO BE A MOTHER. -.-

k it started liddat.
cos last wk my bf is suppose to go out wif me but he went poa so we didnt go out,
even though nt very happy abt it, but it is for gd purpose so i kept my mouth shut otherwise i will be called a bad and unthoughful gf when my bf is studying -.-
but this wk he gt nth to do and he didnt go!
tinking abt why he didnt switch the order of nt going poa last wk and go this wk,
fiery emotions came to me and i scolded him abt being lazy and liar,
copying speech that my mother gimme which is super relavant,
and he say i kpkb -.-

zzz.
so this is my feeling abt being a mother.
HAVING A TEENAGE TO TAKE CARE OF SUCKS -.-
call me kpkbbbbb T.T no wonder my mother is so angry when i talk back to her.
*speechless*
but i sort of understand what my bf feels when i kpkb to him, i dun agreed to it though.
sometimes when you know it is wrong you still continue doing it, human nature we call it,
so this thing go both ways.
wth -.-

conclusion is helping a person(with relations) is SO HARD.
its like u cant give up on him, at the same time letting him scold u for no reason when u are trying to help,nt only he dun appreciate it at all, he blame you for it, making me super dulan. -.-
k im nt giving birth when im married -.-
if i gt a kid that dont help themselves im sure i will encouter heart attack before my 35s ._.
lolsssss.

2009-01-21T22:01:00.003+08:00

Haven been posting for awhile (:
because im too lazy to on the computer.

During the weekends, i went out wif dear to shopping.
hoping to buy my shoes at first, but failed to find it.
then in the end i bought a $50 set of doreamon.
ppl says im crazy, i know :D
but they are all my friendsssssssss, all looking at me in my rm!
i feel so loveeeeeeeeeeed ;x

Received a good scolding from my mother ytd cos nvr join the swim meet -.-
it is like so lame omg.
she say i didnt want to join thats why nvr join
which is nt true. zz.
so much for trusting her daughter ~.~

and it is going to be holiday soon. the CNYs. the only thing i look forward is to sleep in late.
starting from friday. gosh such long weekends. dun even know what to do ._.
no money to collect. feel so sad man. ):

byeeee.